Actually, it was only "Okay-looking Naked Guy" this time. Going at it all alone. It was quite a strange scene to witness from an outsider's viewpoint I guess. You judge:
(Me brushing my teeth carefully, because I went to the dentist on Monday and I'm all paranoid and full of culpability for not having been there for three years, mainly because I had my wisdom teeth removed, and am thus thoroughly traumatized)
Mr V. (from the kitchen): Ohhh someone's masturbating!
Me: YOU'RE KIDDING (rushes over) Geez, that's not a pretty sight.
Mr V. : At least he has a nice penis... Oh look, he even has a little movie on his laptop.
Me: Too much: I'm going back to my teeth brushing (goes back into the bathroom)
Mr.V (from the kitchen): He's pulling out some tissues, I think the end is near.
Me: Ugh! (comes back)
("Okay-looking Naked Guy" ejaculates on the tissues, which he has disposed on his belly. He then closes his laptop, slips on a slip and goes into the next room and out of sight. I finish brushing my teeth while Mr. V. resumes his strenuous face-washing).
I must say, we don't look into our neighbors' bedroom all day, waiting for them to close the shades (which are totally ineffective: to all those bamboo-blinds owners out there, please listen carefully... you can SEE THROUGH them if it's dark out and your lights are open. You're only fooling yourself into thinking that because you can't see outside, we can't see you. Like those toddlers who think if they cover their eyes they become invisible) cough cough, as I was saying, waiting for them to close the shades so that we can watch them doggy-style. It just so happens that their bedroom window is directly in front of our kitchen window... So we're pretty much OBLIGED to watch them... Aren't we?
We've discussed trying to send them a coded message to inform them of the apparent uselessness of their window treatments. Our friends have suggested we catch the act on tape and then deposit said tape in their mailbox with a message like "YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!". Or that we take pictures and write a card saying "Yes, we can see you. Stop pulling your blinds down, it's useless." But they'd know it was us, and had we told them about it the first time we saw them, it would have been okay. Now it's like saying "We've been watching you give us free porn for 6 months, now you're boring, so just change your drapes already."
So there you have it.
Thing is, besides Mr.V studying all the time, and myself looking for a job 24/7, we don't do much around here. So there's plenty of time to think about our ridiculously absurd situation... Including the fact that we were lucky enough to find a great apartment with a great view.
Cheers!
Mr V. (from the kitchen): Ohhh someone's masturbating!
Me: YOU'RE KIDDING (rushes over) Geez, that's not a pretty sight.
Mr V. : At least he has a nice penis... Oh look, he even has a little movie on his laptop.
Me: Too much: I'm going back to my teeth brushing (goes back into the bathroom)
Mr.V (from the kitchen): He's pulling out some tissues, I think the end is near.
Me: Ugh! (comes back)
("Okay-looking Naked Guy" ejaculates on the tissues, which he has disposed on his belly. He then closes his laptop, slips on a slip and goes into the next room and out of sight. I finish brushing my teeth while Mr. V. resumes his strenuous face-washing).
I must say, we don't look into our neighbors' bedroom all day, waiting for them to close the shades (which are totally ineffective: to all those bamboo-blinds owners out there, please listen carefully... you can SEE THROUGH them if it's dark out and your lights are open. You're only fooling yourself into thinking that because you can't see outside, we can't see you. Like those toddlers who think if they cover their eyes they become invisible) cough cough, as I was saying, waiting for them to close the shades so that we can watch them doggy-style. It just so happens that their bedroom window is directly in front of our kitchen window... So we're pretty much OBLIGED to watch them... Aren't we?
We've discussed trying to send them a coded message to inform them of the apparent uselessness of their window treatments. Our friends have suggested we catch the act on tape and then deposit said tape in their mailbox with a message like "YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!". Or that we take pictures and write a card saying "Yes, we can see you. Stop pulling your blinds down, it's useless." But they'd know it was us, and had we told them about it the first time we saw them, it would have been okay. Now it's like saying "We've been watching you give us free porn for 6 months, now you're boring, so just change your drapes already."
So there you have it.
Thing is, besides Mr.V studying all the time, and myself looking for a job 24/7, we don't do much around here. So there's plenty of time to think about our ridiculously absurd situation... Including the fact that we were lucky enough to find a great apartment with a great view.
Cheers!
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